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Here are 50 compiled signs of a narcissistic parent (NPD):
1. Constantly needing the conversation to be about them, often victim stories, their life is “hard”
2. Immature and selfish behavior
3. Bragging about your achievements to others, but rarely acknowledging you or supporting you emotionally
4. Blaming others for any problems you may have that actually stem from their own behavior
5. Snoop, spy, Internet stalk, will even go through drawers and closets seeking dirt on you, denying it every step
6. Deny personal privacy at every age and suggest it is their right as a parent
7. You feel you are essentially property, an extention, intended to bring them attention, pride and glory
8. Being well-liked and important to others, but controlling and harsh when no one is looking
9. Flirt with people that should be off bounds including others spouses, dates even extended family members
10. Divulge they are a potential interest or interested in people outside their relationship, they always have the idea of “ a back-up”
11. Making you feel bad for not doing what they want immediately
12. Making you feel guilty by boasting about how much they have done for you
13. Harshly opinionated at home but putting up a front for other people
14. Being ruthless and unforgiving, doing anything to be on top
15. Making you feel anxious and often lowering your confidence, often with sarcasm and “jokes”
16. Being absent for your life events
17. Making you engage in sports, musical lessons or other activities, despite your wishes
18. Failing to provide warmth and emotional nurturance in the relationship
19. Using you to attain personal gain
20. Being bothered and annoyed when you need time and attention
21. Making poor excuses to limit time together
22. Displaying sudden mood changes and volatile anger
23. Obsessive about their appearance and clothing, home and vehicle
24. Constantly tidying and attempting to have home visually perfect
25. Issues relaxing, must be busy
26. They are very well liked rapidly, they charm
27. They are often highly creative
28. They tell good stories where they get the hero attention
29. They are often upstanding in places like churches, schools and communities, pillars publicly
30. Grandiose unrealistic future visions where they will get recognition, wealth or fame
31. Using religion as a scapegoat for actual behaviors avoiding acknowledging wrong. God forgave them already what is your problem?
32. Children feel pitted against each other as goldens or goats
33.Gaslighting and denial of feelings of others
34. Discuss marital problems with kids or run down spouse behind their back
35. Do “takeaways”, ask for gift ideas and never get the thing you requested to keep you coming back
36. Love bombing- execute grandiose words/acts in early stages to win supply with kids and grandkids
37. Affection consuming- parents in early years often get affection from child to feed themselves then abandon affection once kids mature and gain other relationships.
38. Deal breakers, often make deals to get to do things then do not fulfill their end and blaming the child with a new wrinkle or rule.
39. Self-forgiving, expecting “I’m sorry for anything you might have thought I did that hurt you. I’m human. I always had good intentions.” – to whitewash any and all issues.
40. Blame reframing- Any issue brought to light is a result of you being hateful and unforgiving or “holding onto the past”.
41. There are “secrets” your parent expects to you keep
42. Money has always been hard to give but parent lives in style
43. They have friends they can outshine and cut down behind their backs, often other narcissists or simply supply
44. Wills and estates are used as bait and ransom to elicit behaviors
45. You have felt like a puppet often
46. Surprise punishments and groundings for kids are common when there are events that are inconvenient or parent do
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